Do you really talk like that?

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Ann Green

Imagine that you are donor, and you receive a newsletter from a nonprofit organization that you support. As you read it, you come across phrases like "generate social capital" and "culture-focused projects." Does that make you want to read more or put it aside and go on to your next piece of mail?

One of the keys to good writing is to be conversational. Many nonprofit communications (newsletters, fundraising letters, etc.) are not conversational and tend to be impersonal and abstract.

Don't worry. It's easy to fix this. Here are a few ways to make your writing more conversational.

Write in the second person
 

Refer to your reader as you and your organization as we. Since you want to be donor-focused, use you more than we.

Write as if you are talking to a friend. You may want to create donor personas to help you with that, as Taylor Corrado suggests in How to Develop Donor Personas for Your Nonprofit.

Ditch the jargon
 

Most industries have some type of insider language. I think people like to use it because it makes them feel like they are in the know.

The problem is when this language starts creeping into your fundraising letters and newsletter articles. Terms like capacity building and direct service don't mean anything to most of your donors. Personally, I'd like to see nonprofit folks stop using jargon so much among themselves.

I found the examples cited above in a nonprofit newsletter I recently received. I'm not sure what this organization is trying to convey when they say "generate social capital." Are they talking about economic benefits or community building?

Donors want specific examples of how you are making a difference by helping homeless families find affordable housing or showing how your tutoring program boosts kids' reading skills.

The culture-focused project referred to students creating a flag from their "country of origin."  Why not tell a story about Sarah and Maria's experience working on this project and include some quotes from the girls?

If you are not sure you are using jargon, this might help: Jargon Finder

Don't use the passive voice
 

I'm not a fan of the passive voice. It weakens your writing, and if you use it in a conversation, you sound pretentious.

Instead of saying "200,000 meals were served at the Riverside Community Food Bank," say, "Thanks to you (remember your donor) we served 200,000 

meals .... ."

Use strong, active verbs, and limit passive verbs (is, was) as much as possible.

Back to school
 

Many major newspapers write at a sixth to eighth grade level, and so should you. This is not dumbing down; you are making your stories easy to read and understand. When you use big words, you are confusing and alienating your readers.

The Flesch Kinkaid tool in the review section of Word can be helpful. It gives you readability statistics, the number of passive sentences and grade level.

Make this a priority
 

Your writing needs to be conversational so you can create clear and engaging messages.

You might want to read your letter/article out loud, or have someone outside your organization look at it. I don't always like to recommend multiple editors, and perhaps this is one of the reasons for flat writing, but what may be clear to you might not make sense to others.

Keep all this is mind as you start to craft your fall annual appeal letters and thank you letters.

Your donors are busy and receive messages from a variety of sources besides yours. Make your letter, email message, or social media post something they will take the time to read.

Ann Green is a Massachusetts-based communications consultant who works with nonprofit organizations on all types of communications needs.

When nonprofits fail to communicate they risk losing connections

Janet L. Falk

"I give money to groups that I know. One way for me to get to know your organization is to see your name in the press.” An executive of The Starr Foundation, which annually grants more than $50 million to nonprofit groups, clearly stated the power of communications to a group of fundraising professionals.

Too many nonprofit groups overlook budgeting time and money for communications, whether contact with the press, maintaining a current website or sending a quarterly newsletter.

When an organization decides not to proactively engage in communications, not to allocate budget and staff (or consultant) time, not to invest in itself, not to promote itself and its successful programs and partnerships, it may experience unanticipated outcomes:

●By relying on an annual letter from the executive director, a nonprofit may become too heavily dependent on existing supporters. It may find it difficult to attract new donors, partners and advocates or receive referrals from outside observers, because "Everybody already knows us."

●The absence of third-party validation may create the erroneous impression that there is no news, no progress and no achievement taking place at the nonprofit. A lack of news coverage may make it even harder to land media attention when newsworthy developments take place. Reporters, like funders, are partial to those they already know.

●Nonprofit organizations may be limited in their ability to diversify their funding sources. Without promoting their innovative and replicable programs through newsletters and media coverage, these groups remain below the radar of regional and national funders. As a result, the organizations are mired in a weaker position to obtain new or even matching funds from such sources.

●When new advocacy coalitions are formed, participating members may overlook the nonprofit as a potential partner. They may be are unaware of shared concerns and relevant programs.

●The area business community provides support to selected organizations, largely based on personal contacts and vendor relationships. In the absence of periodic reminders of successful programs in the media and newsletters, local businesses may perceive little incentive to increase giving to selected nonprofits or to connect with groups beyond the small circle they already support. The lack of news coverage promoting the impact of businesses' philanthropy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

●Elected officials at the municipal/county and state level may erroneously believe that the nonprofit group is supported sufficiently by residents and businesses; they may not allocate monies from their discretionary funds that are part of the annual budget.

●Website visitors that stumble upon the website (which is not consistently referenced in outward-bound communications), may encounter outdated information. They may perceive an image of indifference to external audiences or a lack of attention to detail. Neither impression bodes well for the organization's professionalism.

Cutting back on Communications can be a satisfactory arrangement in the near term for a short-staffed and budget-constrained group. Whether for fundraising, advocacy, ticket sales or any other programmatic purpose, the long term consequences of a failure to engage in proactive communications are too serious to be overlooked.

Janet Falk provides media relations and marketing communications services for nonprofits, small businesses and consultants. Her proactive communication campaigns help them achieve their goals through expanded contact with members, prospects, supporters and influentials.